A "challenging" week with mum .... and October is gone

 Yeah, that. It started very hard but I'm not going to record all the details here as some are just too harrowing, others too personal. Towards the end of the week, when she was more herself, we had a couple of the best chats in years - decades actually. It's going to be a long healing at Lisa's, who is quite incredible for taking it on, not sure how it will work but gob-smacked she's trying. 

It's now Friday and Pat is visiting in my stead so I can have a stoned studio afternoon. Still weary from lack of sleep so no idea what will come out as planting any seeds in this weird soil has to be unpredictable at best. Sure feel better about things today than I did on Sunday and I'm resolved to try and interact with mum differently from now on. 

A bad day, Friday. Made the mistake of getting stoned thinking all improving with mum. Recorded one thing, got call from Lisa and news this is the last lap. Came back and somehow selected a new 505 loop, losing the 5 tracks I'd just recorded but hadn't saved of captured. Good stuff too - felt like a really good one, inevitably. Gave up the idea and powered off. She going to Longridge hospital and we'll see how long we have. 

Here's a photo I took a little earlier than the 505 disaster. 

Sunday now and going this afternoon with my sister. Yesterday's visit was really nice, even though she slept a little. Pat and I chatted to her and she was really interested in our lives and also talking about our family history. It's like all layers of attitude have been peeled away and we're talking like normal people. It's very cathartic actually. I guess I won't get much done this coming week but this is more important - and long overdue. Some things to sort re: funeral and Last Rites (they're not called that now). I'm onto priest and Pat has sent out msg to undertaker. 

Starting to lose track of the days here. Neither of us slept last night. Pat decided not to go today as she felt pressured not to be present yesterday and tire mum out. I'm gonna go early and try and cancel some QVC thing she has on her laptop and keep my visit a bit short, depending on how it seems at the time. She got comfort from some ancient priest and is now "sin free" and has arranged her funeral and burial plot. Some moans at me for donating my body for medical experiments and not caring where it goes afterwards - I don't see the fascination for putting us all in the same hole.

Time has passed. Meds adjusted to reduce agitation and instil more calm. We've done a long weekend to get there though, which has taken its toll. Hoping for a period of normality now. Shame I missed the Interstellar gig but John got me a nice poster. Got in touch with Roland about the 505 and a misprint in the manual claiming it has "knob lock" (the RC-600 does apparently). Guy said he'd forward the request but I will now start getting into the habit of saving my work on it regularly, as if it wasn't a hardware device at all. Even Logic has autosave so...

Missed the Interstellar gig and only John went. 

On Friday I did something in setup 1. Even did minor level/arrangement in Logic afterwards (very basic though it sounds like lstening back). Thought I'd put on USB but can't see it so a surprise for tomorrow. Prov title: Hal O'Wein. Day off visiting mother so energy retained and used creatively. Last day of October and each day she's a little weaker. We would not be allowed to put a dog through this but for people we JFDI. 

Happy birthday to me!

 Wow, I reached the grand old age of 64 still mostly alive. Result, yes? Been increasingly tempted by an MPC after reading about the Live III and its pads, clips, audio tracks and much-increased plugin count. They stupidly don't seem to have added program changes for plugins BUT the limit of 8 has been increased to 32, which I guess I could just about work with. All the drumming articulations and those new pads make it quite a different beast but my main reservation now is the sheer amount of time it will suck not just to learn it but to fully use it and keep doing so. If I was doing lots of live stuff it'd be a no-brainer as I'd just work with that, transfer my samples from the Wavestate for playing and my songs and loops from the OT for a more friendly front-end of my usual backing material. 

Will keep dithering a while yet, I expect as it seems a frivolous idea given the way I work now and am quite happy with. And, really, I don't need anything at all, should flog some stuff really or try and swap my Digitone for a Digitone II. 

Monday and the tree men are here doing their stuff. So I'm lurking around the house for the morning at least. May work on 'Beer'. 

Hurt my back just emptying the air conditioner of water. Not sure quite how it happened but struggled to walk today. No option but to mooch around and do some writing but hoping to be fit for weekend. May miss walking on Thursday though as Scotland is coming up. 

Wednesday, pain relief helped my back but hindered my cooking. I didn't do much except add a section to 'Beer' that was needed before the Curiosum leg begins.That now done I can tidy it later as it's not exactly new but introduced a bit sooner and retrofitted so the later Curio chapters make some kind of sense, or at least are less annoying. 

Not walking tomorrow. Another  decent PRS day, golly!

I quite like this week's album ;) - even on Saturday morning

And on Sunday, instead of going to Scotland with Tony, I went to the hospital where I've been going daily ever since. My mother had the fall we'd all been expecting, not ideal timing. Broken bone in her pelvis and long recovery time to come will mean the hell she thought she was waking up to is being visited upon us all. 

I think I'm gonna blow my PRS on an MPC Live III. Even though I'm not totally convinced that's wise. 

Here's one of Tony's pictures (sure he won't mind) a sort of "this is what you could have won" scenario. I wonder if I'll ever get to that lovely forest of ancient oaks?

September sun, general malaise and sorta preparing for EMOM

 Sorta preparing is right as it involves this Wavestate and I know I've wasted way too much time on this thing already, in terms of making it do multitimbral stuff anyway. It should sit quietly in a rack, mostly forgotten, for pads, like god intended. Oh well. Had a sesh yesterday and came up with precisely nothing of value - can't imagine ever doing that with a synth that naturally, easily sounds good - e.g. the Perfourmer, Model D, Odyssey, Uno, System 8, Super 6, Minilogue XD etc. And all I do is whine about this thing, have you noticed? I wonder if tomorrow I'll love it again, and if so it's because I was triggering samples of the Minimoog or Easel? 

Off into town today for some beers with John. A nice change. 

And it was too, although we had one more beer than I could usually cope with in the daytime. 

Still haven't managed to return the Easels, apparently someone came on Tuesday but didn't put a card through. Trying again for Monday when I'll sit in the front room until someone comes. Grrrr. Had forgotten that faffing process with gear reviews.

Turned studio on yesterday and played with the Osmose as I was missing playing it. That and the Super 6 made me very happy - would be much nicer to do a gig with but not lugging a full-sized keyboard for 20 mins of noodling in a pub. Sticking with Octatrack/KSP/Wavestate but probably gonna drop the Electribe as all the left/right arrow shit for selection is a drag and getting all the levels right between the two things is a PITA really. Might slop in a small monosynth like the Model D as just one thing that sounds good would make a difference. Will program some simple patterns into the Octatrack rather than disrupt the Wavestate but at some point I'll stop using that multitimbrally and just do fucking pads on it, like you're supposed to. ;)

Good day Saturday

https://wilyepeyote.bandcamp.com/album/songs-of-hope-optimism

Hmmm been reading a Stephen King book so didn't practise yesterday. Tried a bit today but everything sounded a bit shit to me. If I'd done it yesterday I may have changed to an ambient looping set but hey, it is what it is. 

I added Friday's track (setup 1) to the optimism album, called it The Weather. We had some weather that day. Saturday and it was promising stuff, including a lovely Virus sequence (I added some stoned overdubs while it was recording but enough of it is good). I had a thing with some different-sounding Performer (HX-One playing a blinder here) and some VF-1 filtered Opsix, Super 6 bass I could not get right at all so will return another day. Maybe tomorrow.